Monday, February 11, 2008

Episode 13

Centaur Pledgee DWAYE of Iota Phi Theta Fraternity has stolen a few minutes away to visit his girlfriend, Sigma Gamma Rho member JENNIFER.


JENNIFER - I've missed you so much Dwayne!

CENTAUR DWAYNE - I missed you too!

(They start kissing each other passionately.)

JENNIFER - And you only...have ...ten...minutes?

CENTAUR DWAYNE - If that!

(He puts her down and they stare at each other for two seconds. They then run toward the bedroom.)

JENNIFER - No need for the formalities then!

(They both begin laughing as they quickly start to get undressed.)

CENTAUR DWAYNE - I missed you so much Jenny! I'm about to...

(As DWAYNE is pulling his pants off, a bra and a pair of panties fall out of his pocket and on the floor. JENNIFER stops and stares at it.)

(silence)

JENNIFER - Is that...

CENTAUR DWAYNE thinks - Oh no! Trina's shit!

JENNIFER - Dwayne, what are you doing with...

CENTAUR DWAYNE - Uh...babe...

(CENTAUR DWAYNE quickly reaches for the panties but JENNIFER grabs them first.)

JENNIFER - Dwayne what the hell is this? I don't wear anything like this.

CENTAUR DWAYNE - I know...um...

JENNIFER - Well what the hell is this then?

(JENNIFER starts to raise her voice.)

CENTAUR DWAYNE - Jenn calm down. It was something we had to do for line. We had to...collect panties um from the dorm.

(silence)

JENNIFER - Your big brothers told yall to get girl's panties?
CENTAUR DWAYNE - Yes.

JENNIFER - No they didn't!

(JENNIFER is yelling now.)

JENNIFER - Who? Dr. what's his name! Cornball ass Sean! Kevin your roommate! Who? What stupid ass kind of assignment is that?

CENTAUR DWAYNE - I don't know, I just do what they tell me to do. Come on Jenn, you pledged, you know.

JENNIFER - Exactly! I know! And I know they wouldn't send you to do some bullcrap like that! What do you take me for a fool? Now who's panties are these!

CENTAUR DWAYNE - Jenn, I'm telling the truth! You think I'd just have some random chick's drawers in my pockets?

(silence)

(JENNIFER's phone rings. She ignores it.)

CENTAUR DWAYNE - Come on baby, you know I wouldn't do you like that. Come on.

JENNIFER - Dwayne...

(JENNIFER closes her eyes and tosses him back the underwear.)

JENNIFER - Take your stuff.

CENTAUR DWAYNE - Jenn...

(JENNIFER's phone rings again, this time she answers it.)

JENNIFER - What!

ROSALIND - What the hell is the matter with you?
JENNIFER - Ros, it's really not a good tim...

ROSALIND - Never mind forget that! We gotta go! Candace and Paula are crossing Alexis right now and Andy is having a fit!

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GWENDOLYN and CALVIN are eating and chatting during college happy hour.

GWENDOLYN - My story aint go nothing on yours!

CALVIN - Yeah I know. I got you on that one.

(They both take a wing and start eating.)

GWENDOLYN - But you know, I'm sure you got more stories for me.

CALVIN - Maybe.

(silence)

GWENDOLYN - I can think of one you can tell me.

CALVIN - Oh yeah? What's that?

(GWENDOLYN pauses as she swallows.)

GWENDOLYN - What made you want to pledge a Black fraternity?

(silence)

(CALVIN smiles.)

GWENDOLYN - Is that funny?
CALVIN - No, it's just that everyone asks me the same thing.

GWENDOLYN - Understandably.

CALVIN - Yeah, I aint mad about it at all. I'll answer it.

GWENDOLYN - Okay.

(CALVIN wipes his mouth and fingers with his napkin.)

CALVIN - Well, for me, its like this. I just liked the colors and thought I could get down with some real cool cats. You know, step on the yard and shit, and holla blue phi!

GWENDOLYN - What!

CALVIN - Ha ha ha ha ha ha, I'm just playing.

(GWENDOLYN almost chokes from swallowing and laughing at the same time.)

GWENDOLYN - Man, I was getting ready to say! Ha ha ha, shady!

CALVIN - Ha ha ha ha, naw, I'm just messin' with ya. But for real, here's the deal. If you ask why I chose a Black frat, you need to really go back further and ask me why I chose to go to a college with predominately African American students..

GWENDOLYN - Good point.

CALVIN - Well, call me strange, but I just see people as people. So I came to Amgis not because it's a Black school or because it's not a White school. I came to Amgis because I want to be a graphic designer and the graphic design program is off the chain here. Simple as that. I don't care if the president of Amgis is Black, White or Purple. I just want to have a hot job when I graduate.

GWENDOLYN - Well that's a nice philosophy to have.

CALVIN - In my mind, it's the only philosophy to have. So I chose Phi Beta because I saw the brotherhood that they displayed. Sigmas aint caught up in a lot of drama. Sigmas don't have any preconceived notions about them. We just handle our shit.

GWENDOLYN - Preconceived notions?

CALVIN - For instance...

(CALVIN looks around the room.)

CALVIN - Okay, see them?

(CALVIN points.)

GWENDOLYN - Who Bane?

CALVIN - Yeah, Bane and Ken. The Alphas.

GWENDOLYN - Yeah.

CALVIN - What does everybody say about Alphas. They gay.

GWENDOLYN - They aren't gay!

(GWENDOLYN laughs.)

CALVIN - I know they're not. But why would I want to be in a frat where everyone says that about them. And I don't know about what you think, but I don't come to a happy hour with another dude! Ya know?
GWENDOLYN - Shut up!

(GWEN laughs again.)

CALVIN - And what about the Ques?

GWENDOLYN - Be careful.

CALVIN - I know I know, I'm walkin' on thin ground with this one huh? You got that Coleman love goin' on or something?

GWENDOLYN - Yeah, so watch it buster!

(They both laugh.)

CALVIN - Well I'll come back to them. Ha ha ha ha. But what about the Kappas. They in the mirror more then their woman. What kind of cosmetic mess is that? I'm so pretty! I'm so pretty!

(CALVIN imitates someone holding a mirror up and fixing their hair.)

CALVIN - Come on bruh, be a man and leave that mess for the AKAs.

(GWEN laughs.)

GWENDOLYN - Well I gotta agree with you there. Ha ha ha ha.

CALVIN - I thought you would.

GWENDOLYN - So what about the Iotas?

CALVIN - Who? Oh the UPS workers? Call me when you're founders have all passed away.

GWENDOLYN - You are so mean!

CALVIN - I aint trying to be a hater though. I got love for everybody.

(CALVIN smirks and grabs a chicken wing.)

GWENDOLYN - Uh huh...sure you do.

(CALVIN laughs.)

CALVIN - I can tell you this...

GWENDOLYN - Mmmm hmmm.

(CALVIN smiles.)

CALVIN - I got mad love for DST right about now.

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As Centaur Pledgee DWAYNE and his girlfriend JENNIFER argue, JENNIFER's phone rings.

JENNIFER - What!

ROSALIND - What the hell is the matter with you?
JENNIFER - Ros, it's really not a good tim...

ROSALIND - Never mind forget that! We gotta go! Candace and Paula are crossing Alexis right now and Andy is having a fit!

JENNIFER - What!

ROSALIND - You heard me! Meet me out front now!

(click)

JENNIFER - Hello! Damn!

(She hangs up.)

JENNIFER - Dwayne, you gotta go!

CENTAUR DWAYNE - Wait, I'm tellin' you the truth!

JENNIFER - I'm not talking about that, I got a situation with sorors that's like an emergency! So I gotta go too!

CENTAUR DWAYNE - So you aren't still mad at me?

(JENNIFER rushes toward the door.)

JENNIFER - We'll talk about it some other time Dwayne.

(DWAYNE quickly fixes his pants and fastens his belt.)

CENTAUR DWAYNE - I'll try my best to get in contact with you baby.

JENNIFER - Uh huh.

(JENNIFER opens the door for him and he runs out. She waits a few seconds then leaves as well.)

JENNIFER thinks - Damn Dwayne!

(JENNIFER locks her door and rushes for the elevator.)

JENNIFER thinks - That story sounds real shady to me but damn, I can't ever in a million years imagine Dwayne cheating on me.

(The elevator reaches the lobby and JENNIFER runs outside. She sees ROS' car sitting, waiting.)

JENNIFER - Hey! Let's go!

ROSALIND - No doubt!

(ROSALIND speeds off.)

JENNIFER - Now what the hell is going on?

ROSALIND - I don't know much, I just got the call from Paula so I called you right away.

JENNIFER - Well thanks for calling too! You had perfect timing actually.

ROSALIND - Oh yeah? What were you doing?

JENNIFER - Arguing with Dwayne!

ROSALIND - Arguing with Dwayne? He called you?

JENNIFER - He came to see me.

ROSALIND - He did? How?

JENNIFER - He got ten minutes away to sneak out. So we're in there chillin' and girl, why does a pair of stank ass panties fall out his pocket?

ROSALIND - What!

JENNIFER - Yes Ros! A pair of panties and they wasn't mine!

ROSALIND - They fell out his pocket? Well what did he say?

JENNIFER - Some lame shit about his big brothers made him get some girl's drawers. I didn't believe him.

ROSALIND - Why not?

JENNIFER - First of all his ass what stutterin' when he told me.

(ROSALIND laughs.)

JENNIFER - And mostly, the Iotas aint about stealing no chick's panties. I could see if the Ques made him do it. That isn't like the Iotas here at all. So unless they tell me that they gave their pledgees that assignment, I aint believin' it!

ROSALIND - Well there's no better time than the present to find out the truth.

JENNIFER - Huh?

ROSALIND - There goes Malcolm and Kevin right there walking! Let's pull over and ask em!

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ERIC's cell phone rings.

ERIC - Don't cry Jess. Val will be okay.

JESSICA - It's just that he's such...such...such a loser...and I love her...and...

(She starts to cry harder.)

ERIC - Jess...

(ERIC takes JESSICA's by the hand and pulls her close to him. He holds her close.)

ERIC - Shhhhh. Stop crying. Val will be alright okay. You just have to love her and be a good friend to her okay?

JESSICA - Uh huh.

ERIC - It's gonna be alright.

(JESSICA smiles as she squeezes ERIC back.)

JESSICA thinks - Oh I know. It's gonna be alright!

(ERIC's cell phone rings.)

ERIC - Wait, wait...Jessica get off me, I gotta get my phone...it's ringing.

JESSICA - Well don't answer it. I need to be consoled. Val is making a huge mistake in her life. I mean, look at this white man!

ERIC - Jessica...

(ERIC gently pushes her off of him and grabs his cell phone off his hip.)

ERIC - Girl stop playin'.

JESSICA thinks - Shit!

(ERIC looks at the screen of his phone.)

ERIC thinks - Oh shit! Akina!

(ERIC contemplates if he should answer as the phone rings again. ERIC steps away from JESSICA and answers.)

ERIC - Hello?

AKINA - Hey, what you doin'?

(ERIC looks at JESSICA who is staring at him. He turns away.)

ERIC - Chillin'.

AKINA - You won't guess what I just heard!

ERIC - Wassup?

AKINA - The Alphas are messin' with yall's party.

ERIC - Huh?

AKINA - Loud mouth Holly told me so it may not even be true, but she said the Alphas changed...

(JESSICA walks up behind ERIC and wraps her arms around him.)

ERIC thinks - What the fuc...

(He quietly wrestles her JESSICA off of him.)

AKINA - ...aint that a trip! What you gonna do?

ERIC - Uh...wait, uh...let me...uh get this...uh...straight. They did what?

(ERIC keeps JESSICA in front of him so he can see her.)

AKINA - The Alphas changed yall's party. They told yall that yall couldn't have your party so they could schedule theirs instead.

ERIC - What! Are you sure?

AKINA - Well like I said, this is what Holly says so who knows. I just thought you'd like to know.

(ERIC is angry and gets louder.)

ERIC - Well hell yeah I wanna know because if that shit is true then....

JESSICA - Is something wrong?

(silence)

AKINA - Is that someone in the background? You with somebody?

ERIC - Uh no, I'm walking down the hall, and I uh...just passed somebody.

(ERIC motions for JESSICA to be quiet.)

ERIC - Well look, let me call you back. I need to call the bros.

AKINA - Okay bye.

ERIC - Bye, and thanks.

AKINA - No problem.

(They hang up.)

JESSICA - What's wrong? And why did you lie and say you were in the hallway? Who was that? Akina?

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GWENDOLYN and CALVIN are enjoying lunch together and chatting about the other organizations on campus.

CALVIN - I can tell you this...

GWENDOLYN - Mmmm hmmm.

(CALVIN smiles.)

CALVIN - I got mad love for DST right about now.

GWENDOLYN - You tryin' to flatter me Calvin?

(GWEN smiles.)

CALVIN - Maybe.

GWENDOLYN - Well let me say this Calvin, to talk about the other frats is one thing. But to spit out a lot of hate, it's not really attractive. Ya know?

CALVIN - Oh, I wasn't hating. I was just joking about them.

GWENDOLYN - Uh huh.

CALVIN - No seriously, I'm just playin'. I'm cool with all them guys.

GWENDOLYN - You're cool with all what guys?

CALVIN - I'm cool with all the Greeks on Amgis' campus. We all get along great and we speak all the time.

GWENDOLYN - Really now?

CALVIN - Oh yeah. We're all cool.

GWENDOLYN - Okay then, do something for me. Go over there to where the Alphas are sitting and have a seat with them for a few minutes. Just go chit chat with them, since they're your...friends. Let's see how good your Greek relations are mister Greek unity.

(CALVIN looks over at KEN and BANE.)

CALVIN thinks - Shit!

CALVIN - Okay, no problem. Be right back.

(CALVIN slides out of the booth and walks toward KEN and BANE.)

CALVIN thinks - I gotta play this smart. I don't know these dudes at all and they may hate Sigmas for all I know.

(CALVIN gets to their table.)

CALVIN - Hey guys, quick question for ya.

(KEN and BANE look up.)

CALVIN - Hey I'm Calvin, I've seen you guys on the yard before. Alphas right?

(KEN looks down at the Alpha Phi Alpha jacket he has on and responds sarcastically.)

KEN - What gave me away?

(BANE laughs and turns away from CALVIN.)

CALVIN - Ha ha ha, yeah, pretty obvious.

(CALVIN steps closer to the booth that KEN and BANE are in.)

CALVIN - Do yall mind if I sit down for a minute?

(BANE looks at KEN and holds in his laugh. He turns away again, forcing KEN to answer CALVIN.)

KEN - Sure dude, slide on in.

(KEN scoots over.)

CALVIN - So what's goin' on guys?

(silence)

(BANE turns back from looking away to face CALVIN.)

BANE - I'll let you know what's goin' on...dude...

(BANE emphasizes the word dude.)

BANE - ...what's up with you tryin' to be out on a date with one of the...sisters...from campus?

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JESSICA - And why did you lie and say you were in the hallway? Who was that? Akina?

(ERIC closes his phone up and snaps it back on his hip.)

ERIC - Yes that was Akina and yes I lied because I don't feel like no drama right now.

JESSICA - Drama?

ERIC - I got other issues to deal with right now with the frat. I aint got time to be explainin' to her why I'm here and why she don't need to be worryin' about you.

JESSICA - Worryin' about me? She's worryin' about me? Why?

ERIC - She thinks...well never mind. But anyway, she aint got no reason to be worryin' about you.

JESSICA - I know that's right! I don't want your broke down ass!

(JESSICA snaps her fingers and laughs. ERIC laughs too.)

ERIC - Oh whatever! Ha ha ha ha!

JESICA - Naw but seriously, why your girl got issues? Why she so insecure? I mean damn.

ERIC - It isn't that, I'm sayin' though, she isn't insecure.

(JESSICA walks over to the fridge.)

JESSICA - Sounds like she is. You want something?

ERIC - Naw, I gotta go.

JESSICA thinks - No!

JESSICA - What's the hurry? You gotta run home to your girl?

ERIC - No I don't have to run to my girl smart ass! I gotta take care of a problem that I just heard about with the frat.

JESSICA - Aight man, call it whatever you want.

(JESSICA smirks.)

JESSICA - I just never figured you this way.

ERIC - What? What way?

JESSICA - Nothing.

ERIC - What?

JESSICA - Nothing!

ERIC - Fine, I'm out. Crazy ass.

(ERIC turns to leave.)

JESSICA - All I'm sayin is, why is your girl scared of me?

ERIC - Scared of...

(ERIC turns back around, then turns back toward the door.)

ERIC - Whatever Jess, I'll talk to ya later.

JESSICA - Bye.

ERIC - Tell Val I said hi.

(ERIC walks out and closes the door behind him.)

ERIC thinks - Crazy ass chick! I'm glad she don't want me no more!

(He pulls out his cell phone.)

JAY - Wassup Nupe.

ERIC - Yo man, something's up!

JAY - What's goin' on?

ERIC - I think the Alphas pulled a fast one on us!

JAY - Huh? What are you talkin' about!

ERIC - Rumor may have it that they switched our party so they could schedule theirs.

JAY - What! Are you sure?

ERIC - No, not yet. But I will be soon, and if they did that shit...

(ERIC pauses.)

ERIC - ...somebody in black and gold is gettin' fucked up!

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